You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Last time i carry you out of a forest
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize