North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
last night I used snow as a chaser
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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