are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
