But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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