I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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