Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
