You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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