When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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