ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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