It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
