got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i will never coherently bang her
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
