Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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