I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
