do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
