Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
