In the future we'll all be gay
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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