Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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