I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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