just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
