It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
