i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
