So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
