i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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