Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
