you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Will exercising make me less horny?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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