I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
