I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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