Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
