I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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