I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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