i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
