Kiss
Puke
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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