I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
