Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
