You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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