Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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