I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
