Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
