I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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