He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
