Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
