Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize