The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
