There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
