i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
