So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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