Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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