His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
