Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
