i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Even my vagina gasped.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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