Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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