I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
