never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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