hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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