He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
