It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
