So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
