READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
